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P. N. Elrod

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20 thumbs down agents [May. 24th, 2006|10:37 pm]
P. N. Elrod
[Current Location |kicking ass, taking names, google bombing]
[mood |pissed offpissed off]
[music |Opening theme to Jaws]

Well, the day has been tough for my buds at Absolute Write dot com.

A very strange person managed (with the aid of a panicked ISP employee of questionable intelligence) to shut down the whole site.

The full story is here:


sent to me by the ever alert st_jb.  Thanks, girl!

And now I'm once more posting the 

               20 Thumbs Down Agents List

The Abacus Group Literary Agency
Allred and Allred Literary Agents (refers clients to "book doctor" Victor West of Pacific Literary Services)
Capital Literary Agency (formerly American Literary Agents of Washington, Inc.)
Barbara Bauer Literary Agency
Benedict & Associates (also d/b/a B.A. Literary Agency)
Sherwood Broome, Inc.
Desert Rose Literary Agency
Arthur Fleming Associates
Finesse Literary Agency (Karen Carr)
Brock Gannon Literary Agency
Harris Literary Agency
The Literary Agency Group, which includes the following:
Children's Literary Agency
Christian Literary Agency
New York Literary Agency
Poets Literary Agency
The Screenplay Agency
Stylus Literary Agency (formerly ST Literary Agency)
Writers Literary & Publishing Services Company (the editing arm of the above-mentioned agencies)
Martin-McLean Literary Associates
Mocknick Productions Literary Agency, Inc.
B.K. Nelson, Inc.
The Robins Agency (Cris Robins)
Michele Rooney Literary Agency (also d/b/a Creative Literary Agency and Simply Nonfiction)
Southeast Literary Agency
Mark Sullivan Associates
West Coast Literary Associates (also d/b/a California Literary Services) 

I ask that other writers on this blog to copy and paste this list in their blogs as well.  Get the word out.  Shine a light on these scammers and put them out of business!

Here is a link on the SFWA site where it appeared outside of Absolute Write.  Post it, too.


It ain't libel when it's true. 

Like to hear BB's side?  Not that she's making any public comments that I've heard.  

Ask if she's ever placed a single title in any place but a vanity house.  

Ask why she's charging writers money for not doing anything for them.

Well, maybe not.  She'll just send you abusive e-mails full of drive-by threats.  I've gotten a couple myself:

This is the first, under the subject header: Cease and Desist

"Dear P.N. Elrod and Associates:  This is in regard to the unauthorized representation of my agency on your web site.  The name of the Barbara Bauer Literary Agency, Inc., is a proprietary name.  It is private property under the law, and you have not obtained permission to use the name of the company, which is a person under the law.  Remove the post promptly, since it is both disparaging and inappropriate.  Sincerely, Barbara Bauer, Ph.D. P.S.  Who is Miss Snark?  How clever and convenient for one of my competitors to put up a fictitious person to defame me in order to unjustly enrich themselves."

I checked with a writer friend who works in the business sector; she assured me all of the above about "proprietary stuff" is horse hockey.  Miss Snark is a legit literary agent who makes her money by working.  She actually sells books to publishers for money, collecting her cut only AFTER a sale is made, which is how honest literary agents work.

This is an alien concept to Ms Bauer, but when one considers how much she charges writers who are so unlucky to cross her path, the words "unjustly enrich" do come to mind.

My reply:

"Hey, great to hear from you!

The Barbara Bauer agency name stays up until its website shows covers to any books it has sold for the writers and a link to the authors' websites or to the books' pages on Amazon. 
Send me a link soon as you make a sale!  Send one to Miss Snark, Victoria Strauss & Ann Crispin.  I bet they'll be cheering and take the name off their postings as well.  Think how defamed THEY will be if you prove them wrong!
See you in the funny papers!"

The next morning I got this:

Subject: Re: Extortion and blackmail

"Dear P.N. Elrod:  I will not submit to your extortion and blackmail through your unauthorized false advertising which you have published in order to mislead consumers.  Please provide me with complete street mailing addresses and telephone numbers for yourself and Miss Snark  or  for those of your and Miss Snark's  respective attorneys.  I have already received the street mailing address of Crispin and Stauss's attorney, Mr. Charles Petit, Esq.  Thank you.  Sincerely, Barbara Bauer, Ph.D."

More horse hockey.  I've never asked her for money, but she ain't shy about it. She's demanded a billion dollars from the Blue Meanies who have dared to tell the truth about her.

Gosh-o-goodness!  --  She sure is proud of that English degree she got back in 1979.  She signs everything with that after her name.  She's even got an old pic of herself on her website wearing her cap and gown like it's a big deal after all this time.  Who freakin' cares?

MY agent's website has:

1) Lists of all the writers it represents and their websites;

2) Titles of the books they've sold;

3) Titles of books about to be released and the publishers they're with.

4) Writers and publishers you've actually HEARD of!

(All of the above is suspiciously absent from BBs website.  Scam alert!!)

Funny--no space on my agent's site is wasted on old grad pics of the staff.  Maybe I should mention that to them.

My response to BB's last mail was pretty much "Yeah, so what?  Ain't gonna happen." and she has not contacted me again.  Her usual style is to throw out those letters, then vanish.  She won't be taking legal action, since lawyers cost money.  I'm thinking this would make for a fun Boston Legal episode.  We lock a scamming literary agent character in a room with Denny Crane and they can swap notes about mad cow disease.

Hopefully, the wonderful folk behind Absolute Write will soon find a better ISP host and get the site back up better than ever.  They have my full support for helping neos avoid the sharks out there.

Even the crazy ones.

ONE MORE!!  st_jb sent me this link to BB's other job.  Beverage alert!!!  BWAH!



[User Picture]From: bladespark
2006-05-25 06:06 am (UTC)
Thank you for that list. I've long ago decided that I'm better off writing for my own amusement rather than trying to get money for it. (I'm not all that great, I'll admit.) But I have a few friends who are serious about writing careers, so I'm passing this along.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: p_n_elrod
2006-05-25 03:24 pm (UTC)
Thanks and way to go!

If you've read the TNH thread you'll know that Barbara Bauer, scam agent (there, that's for google) is not the most stable of people.

If she slams you with a drive-by cease and desist compare it to the ones above. They're gonna be identical...and about as valid as a week old ticket to a ball game.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: jgoodman71
2006-05-25 09:57 pm (UTC)


Wow, I must be pretty lucky (or too far down the food chain to catch her interest). I've posted the list twice now (I re-posted today because of the stunt she pulled with Absolute Write) and I didn't get a single threat.

I wonder how long it will take before all of this publicity draws the attention of people she really doesn't want to check into th legitimacy of her "agency"...

Is that smoke I smell? Yeah, she should be going down in flames soon.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: p_n_elrod
2006-05-26 12:41 am (UTC)

Re: huh

Count yourself lucky, then and stay off her radar. I contacted my ISP server to make sure she didn't shut my website down, too.

If one mad cow foaming with threats can shut down as big and popular site as AW, then no one is safe.

Flames indeed. Shutting down AW was her version of Pearl Harbor. She ain't gonna like what's coming next!

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
From: amandajyxar
2008-07-17 01:32 am (UTC)
Html I will comment about it on my homeschooling blog as well, but have used up all of my writing time for today.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: p_n_elrod
2008-07-17 01:47 am (UTC)
Make sure it is "Thumb's Down" she's suing people for real now.

(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)